ANYWAY. Dean finally reaches Lisa’s house and pretty much lays on the doorbell. Lisa opens the door dressed in a black cocktail dress and looking extremely pretty…but not at all happy to see him.
Dean: You look…absolutely fine.
Lisa: What are you doing here?
Dean: We’ve been parent-trapped. Ben sent out a 911.
Lisa: Why would he do that?
Dean’s says it’s because she looks like she’s going out on a date, and Lisa invites him in — and gives him a beer, which actually kinda warmed my heart. She’s not happy with him, or with Ben, but she knows how to help Dean feel comfortable enough in her house so that he’ll talk with her.
Lisa’s like, “I called you six times.” Dean replies with a (totally lame) “I almost called you back 100.” She’s like, oh, wow, thanks, that’s comforting. I don’t blame her. Men. *rolls eyes* Ben pokes his head in and both of them turn to him in unison with a, “Go to your room.”
She trying to wave Dean off, telling him she’s not asking for anything. He’s watching her and man, his eyes are hungry. Not in a sexual way, either. It’s like he’s looking at peace across a wide chasm and has no idea how to cross it. He tells her he wants her to ask for something. She’s been holding herself away from him, across the room, out of reach, but at that she kinda sinks against the counter next to him. Still not touching him, but near.
She looks at him with soft eyes and says that she knows what she wants, but she can’t have it. Not the way he lives his life. Every time the phone rings she gets a little jolt thinking it might be him and then that rush of fear that it’s Sam telling her Dean’s dead.
He tries to comfort her with a quiet, “Lis….” But she’s having none of it.
Lisa: I get to a place where I think I’m okay with you being gone…and you show up at our door. I’m trying to get over you.
His eyes flinched when she said that. As if he didn’t ever expect to hear it. And to be honest, I was rather sad, too. I didn’t expect that after the vampire incident and the forced-honest phone conversation they’d be able to roll right back into that “you go do your thing, then come back to us” mentality, but I didn’t want her to move on. Still, at the same time…he’s not given her much to hold onto. She’s called him — over and over — and he puts it to voicemail and doesn’t call back. Yes, he’s had a ton of stuff on his plate that she has no idea about, but he also has no idea what’s going on in her life.
You can’t just put someone on a shelf and expect they’ll be there waiting for you when you’re ready to dust them off and play with them again.
I think if he’d answered even one call — or called back even once — she wouldn’t be where she was now. But she can’t spend her life with a question mark where her heart is supposed to be. Not only that, she has to continue to raise her son. She has to show him that their lives go on. They were doing fine before Dean came into their lives, and now that he’s chosen to leave, they’ll do fine again.
I understood why she said it and why she was doing it, but the look on his face as he absorbed her words just…ouch.
Lisa: What are you trying to do, Dean? What do you want from us?
She said it as a genuine question. Really pressing him to think. What did he want? Did he want them to wait? Did he want to come back to them when the battle he was fighting was over? Did he want the battle to be over? What did she and Ben have to look forward to? I really think if he’d given her even a hint that there was hope for him to return, she’d have kept Matt-The-Doctor at two dates.
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