Dean kinda nods with a slightly uncertain half-smile on his face. Cas does his summoning/scrying thing but he can’t find Crowley. Dean says they have to do it the hard way, which evidently means going to Gramps’ office and poking around until they get caught. Dean tells Gramps they want to know where Crowley is, but Gramps won’t tell them.
Sam: I’m going to get my soul back.
Gramps: Who says you can get it back?
Almost in a, don’t you dare tell me I can’t, tone of voice.
Dean (to Gramps): What’s wrong with you? Do you want to work for Crowley?
He asks Cas to leave for some reason I didn’t understand and then steps closer to Gramps. The look on Dean’s face in this whole part is arresting. It shifts from confrontation to disbelief to remembered pain to desperation to anger and finally betrayal. It’s a journey of what he’s been through and what he’s survived. Watching him and listening to him, I could hear echoes of what’s dead should stay dead and I couldn’t let him die…he’s m’brother.
Dean: We’re your blood, and if you don’t want to help, I can’t make you. But I just want to know why. What’s Crowley holding over you? You owe us that.
Gramps takes out a pic of Mary and I think I said out loud, “I knew it!” Apparently, Crowley has promised to bring her back to life if Gramps does his bidding.
Gramps: The one difference between us is that you know how to live without her.
I have to say…I felt a tug of sympathy toward Gramps for the first time with that statement. I’ve been forced to contemplate my husband’s mortality and I know that while half of me would be gone, I would be able to live without him. I’ve nearly lost parents and a couple siblings and their loss would gut me, but I would be able to move on.
But if I lost my daughter, I don’t know that I could survive it. I know readers of this ramble have survived such a loss and have found a way to build a life around that hole inside of them. And they have my admiration and my respect. I don’t know if I’d have that strength. I don’t ever want to find out. I could see why the promise of something like that would drive Gramps to follow Crowley’s orders.
Especially if he somehow found out the whole story. If he’d found out that she died because of him, really. Because he wasn’t strong enough to overcome the YED’s hold on him—as John did to save Dean’s life—and stop YED from forcing Mary to make the deal for John’s life. And that the result of that deal was that his daughter was gutted and burned on the ceiling of her youngest son’s nursery.
Dean: I know how you feel….
Gramps: No, you don’t. She’s my daughter and she’s dead.
Dean: You really think he’s gonna make good?
Gramps: He brought Sam back! And me!
Dean pleads with him, his whole being coiled, his eyes hot. Sam stands off to the side, silent the whole time. Unable or unwilling to break in. What could he say, really? He’s never made a deal for another’s life. Mary did for John. John did for Dean. Dean did for Sam. And now their Grandfather was.
Dean: Don’t go down that road; it’s gonna go nowhere good. I’m your grandson and I’m saying this is wrong for so many reasons.
Gramps: You hypocrite.
Dean: I’m asking you to learn from our mistakes! This is how the bad guys get us every time. It’s our Achilles heel. Apparently, it runs in the family.
Gramps still says no, he won’t help.
Dean: Fine! But what are you going to tell her? That you made a deal with a demon? That you wouldn’t help out her sons?
Gramps tells them to get out and Dean turns and exits without another word. Sam, however, pauses long enough to let his Grandfather see the weight of his betrayal.
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