NOW, Crowley and Dick are having themselves a little chat. Dick offers Crowley a drink – which the King of Hell says he takes ‘alcoholic’…heh – and Crowley is putting two and two together about why he’s there. Still don’t get why Dick bothered to dig up the tablet, but we’re a little past finding reason with that little plotline. Coming to the realization of why Dick called him there, Crowley tells Dick he’s smarter than he looks.
Dick: Oh, well, now you’re just flirting.
Crowley says it’s not easy to kill him, but it’s doable. Dick says he figures Crowley has a vial of his blood stashed away that will go straight to Sam and Dean in the event of his death. So…Dick offers Crowley and his minions “full immunity” and all of Canada. Not America, because apparently, we’re too fat, and the Leviathans have a sweet set up here to nosh on us.
In exchange for this generous offer (note use of sarcasm font), Dick wants Crowley to give the boys some random demon’s blood, and let them come to him.
Crowley: Can’t deny I’d love to see those two digested once and for all.
They agree to make the deal – though I could imagine the entitled position of offering Crowley he once was just able to take made his skin crawl – and since Dick doesn’t kiss on the mouth, Crowley pulls out a standard rider…that’s about 30 miles long. Ha!
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Roadrunner, Dean and Sam are driving toward something that Dean says is a really bad idea – even though it was his – and Sam says was the best either of them had had. Dean argues that he said it as a joke.
Sam: Bad joke. Good idea.
They’ve no magic spell or book to tell them how to find a righteous bone. Sam suggests calling Cas again.
Dean (raising a hand as if swearing): Dude, on my car. He showed up naked, covered in bees.
Sam (grimacing): Yeah. Not really sorry I missed that.
However, the same is not true of half of fandom…sans the bees of course.
Dean turns on the radio and the DJs are talking about Roman Enterprises going public and how the stock is rising (ironic timing considering recent events with Facebook) and that Dick is holed up at Sucracorp HQ, which the boys take note of.
Elsewhere, Housekeeper!Bobby is walking down a street somewhere and sees Dick Roman being interviewed on a TV in a store window and stops to stare and…glower.
Crowley and Dick are working through the lengthy contract with its 314+ clauses. Dick tells Crowley he should do this professionally. Heh. Okay, no lawyer jokes, now, guys. We’re focusing on dick jokes, remember?
The boys show up at a nunnery crypt, Dean with the flashlight and Sam behind him reading from some really big, really old looking book. In the dark. He has really good eyes. He offers up a couple of options. Sister Mary Benedict, taught learning impaired, died at 23.
Dean: Too young. Find someone who had time to cook.
Okay, so there was Sister Mary Eunice who fed the poor and became Mother Superior at age 60.
Dean: Sounds political. Power corrupts.
Sam: How about Sister Mary Constant. 83 years of quiet, humble, nun-like goodness.
He shows the book to Dean. Loved Dean’s little mouth fold there as he was reading.
Dean: Wow. I want to be more righteous just reading this.
They decide to go with her and Sam waits in the entrance as Dean approaches the nun’s crypt. He glances back at Sam with an ornery grin.
Dean: Let’s bone this nun.
Sam gives him an epic bitchface. Dean’s grin fades and he looks contrite. And also five.
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