Back outside, Cas has made it to the car before Dean catches up to him. Cas is sick about the death toll – in Heaven and Earth – because of him.
Cas: We didn’t part friends, Dean.
Dean: So what?
Cas: I deserved to die. I can’t fix it so why did I walk out of that river?!
Dean is practically vibrating with the need to get Cas to help him, regardless of what he did, what he was responsible for. He needs Cas right now. Needs Cas to understand that maybe he can’t go back and undo all the chaos he caused, but that second chances weren’t always random. And maybe this time he got one not to wage war (as is what happened the last time he was brought back from death) but to mend fences. To heal more than just bodies and minds; to heal souls. Friendships.
Dean opens his trunk and I caught my breath. No matter what old beater they were driving, no matter how many cars they’ve had to switch up over the last few months, he’d kept it. The trench coat. It was bloodstained and wrinkled, but to Dean, it symbolized Castiel. His friend. The same being who broke his heart and his trust and created a rift inside him that he couldn’t get over, was the only one who could help him now.
So, Dean stepped over that rift, handing Cas the trench coat and silently pleaded for the angel to get it.
Which, he did – Sam’s writhing from the jolts of shock coursing through him and just as the possessed orderly goes to kick it up a notch, Cas is there smiting the hell out of him. He takes the gear off of Sam, and looks at him sadly.
Cas: I should never have broken your wall, Sam. I’m here to make it right.
He touches Sam’s head and Sam looks up at him, blearily, and sees Lucifer instead of Cas, saying, “You’re not real.”
Cas looks distraught. “Oh, Sam. I’m so sorry.”
I was sorry, too! I was like no way are you going to put Dean through that and then NOT let Cas heal Sam! *stomps foot*
Sam’s back in his room and Dean and Cas are leaning against the far wall, looking at him. Dean has his arms wrapped around himself like he can’t get warm, his face tight with worry. Cas tells Dean that there’s nothing left of Sam’s wall to repair – Hallucifer has stomped it to nothingness.
Dean (looking at Sam’s pale, bruised face, his eyes staring at ‘nothing’): There’s nothing? He’s gonna be like this until his candle blows out?
I flashed back to my chronic disease analogy. Eventually, depending on the disease, the chronic nature of the affliction can ultimately cause death. And when Dean said that, I thought of how many people live with that – a loved one living out each day in pain or suffering until one day…that’s it. It’s a reality that too many have to face and the look on Dean’s face as he tried to process that just broke my heart.
After everything, all of it, he was going to lose Sam to this. And no crossroad deal was going to save him this time. *sniff*
Cas (looking truly bereft): I’m sorry. This isn’t a problem I can make disappear. (pause) But I may be able to shift it.
Cas goes over to Sam, sitting next to him. Sam stares at him in terror, seeing Lucifer dressed as a doctor with a scope on his forehead. Cas looks back at Dean saying It’s better this way; I’ll be fine when Dean comes forward demanding what the hell.
Cas: Sam, this may hurt. And if I can’t tell you again, I’m sorry I ever did this to you.
Cas touches Sam’s head and this cool effect of red glowy light comes from Sam’s head, through his eyes, up through Cas’ arm, lighting his veins and crawling up to his head and turning his eyes red. Sam’s gasping from the pain, and then pulling away even before the glow is gone from Cas’ face. Dean is crossing the room to him. Sam gasps out Dean’s name, then stares at Cas in wonder.
Cas looks up, but instead of Sam, sees Lucifer, who says, “Hello, brother.” Cas backs away to the other side of the room as Lucifer laughs.
Okay, couple of ponderings here. First, if Lucifer was in Sam’s broken head because Sam had been in the Cage, I find it interesting that it was still Lucifer when Cas “absorbed” broken bits. I mean – what did he shift out of Sam and into him, exactly? Sam still has his memories; remembers what happened to him and why he was there (as we find out in the coda). If it was just the psychosis, or whatever, of someone who had tortured or caused him pain, I wonder why for Cas it wasn’t someone like…Raphael.
Also, though he looked practically catatonic at the end (which I’ll get to), I wonder if he told Dean so confidently that he’d be fine because his vessel isn’t bound by the same human, physical limitations as Sam’s had been – he doesn’t eat, sleep, etc. He’s physically like Sam had been when he was soulless. So in one respect, he could contain whatever this is indefinitely. However, I do feel bad for Emmanuel’s wife, Daphne, and wonder if she’s going to come looking for her husband when he doesn’t return. I wonder if they told her where they were going.
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