Dean bursts into the office of a Dr. Kadinski with a nurse at his side like a guard dog telling him he can’t just come in he needs to be scheduled. Dean’s like, well, schedule me, then!
It reminded me of a line from Good Will Hunting where Robin William’s character tells Will that he wouldn’t know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, “because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms visiting hours don’t apply to you.”
Dean was set and ready to tell her what she could to with her procedure until the Doctor tells her it’s okay because he realizes that this is “Sam Smith”’s brother. Dean wants to know why, if Sam was admitted for a car accident, he can’t see him. Doc tells him that Sam was treated for a broken rib and some lacerations. But…he was in their locked psych ward because he was in the middle of a full-blown psychotic episode.
Resistant as ever to anyone classifying his brother a ‘crazy’ or anything close to that, Dean says that he’s not Norman Bates or anything, but the Doc says that they have to do a chicken and egg thing for Sam’s insomnia – is it a result of his condition or is it causing it?
Dean tells him the ‘sleep thing was new,’ and I felt so badly for him. I mean, how can he tell the doctor anything that might help him help Sam that doesn’t involve Hell and then end up getting admitted himself? As the Doc is talking, Dean has Mega-Worried Face: jaw coiled, skin tight beneath his eyes, lips rolled in against his teeth. The Doc takes him up to the locked ward to see Sam, saying they pumped Sam as full of sedatives as is safe and he won’t go under.
As Dean walks in, Lucifer is sitting on the table in the corner of the room telling Sam that when he didn’t have a soul, he didn’t need to sleep (which just prompted all sorts of questions for me on the physicality of sleep deprivation and did that mean that soulless!Sam wasn’t really human since his organs didn’t need sleep and so on). Sam…well, Sam looks just…done. Although, on a purely superficial level? I dug the scruffy beard. Sam should be scruffy (but well-rested) more often.
Lucifer: Ah, Mr. Helpless! Pull up a six pack, buddy!
Dean (to Sam, hesitant, unsure): How you feeling?
Sam: Cancel my UFC fight.
Lucifer: Keep that sense of humor. It’ll get you through this.
I wanted to hate him. I really did. I wanted to be irritated with him for breaking up a good brotherly moment, too. But unfortunately his performance was so spot-on and purposely irritating and insanity-inducing I just couldn’t.
In a darker, older role-reversal of Faith, Dean is telling Sam he’s going to find him some help. I could almost see S1 Sam telling a bruised, pale Dean that he’s not going to let him die. And, predictably – just as Dean had – Sam tells him not to, that the last faith healer they found had a reaper on a leash (to which Dean has to turn away when replying that he remembers that quite well, thank you very much).
Sam: Don’t do this to yourself.
Dean: If I don’t find somebody….
Sam: Then I’ll die. Cas warned you about what would happen….
Ouch – I know Sam’s too tired to worry about curbing his words, but that kinda stung. I mean, sure Dean was warned about sticking Sam’s soul back in his body, but what was he supposed to do with it once Death got it out of the cage? I suppose one choice would have been to end soulless!Sam’s existence and ask Cas to deposit Sam’s soul in Heaven so that it would be at peace, but after having recently died to make the deal to get Sam’s soul out of the pit, I don’t know that Dean was thinking beyond “get Sam back.”
Dean: Screw Cas! Quit being Dali-freaking-Yoda about this. Get pissed!
(When he said, ‘Screw Cas,’ I heard echoes of Dean’s pained, “Dad’s an ass. You don’t do that! You don’t lay that kind of crap on your kids!” back in S2’s Playthings.)
Sam: I’m too tired. This is what happens when you throw a soul into Lucifer’s dog bowl. You think there’s just gonna be some cure out there?
Dean’s eyes KILL ME DEAD in this moment. The emotions that blink through them as Sam’s saying this literally had my heart panging. Yes, he knows Hell. He knows torment. But he doesn’t know what it was like to be bunk-buddies with Lucifer in the Cage, and there is so much regret there that he shouldn’t carry – if he’d known Sam was alive that whole year everyone hid it from him, if he’d picked up on the cause of Sam’s behavior earlier, if if if…would Sam be this damaged? And then there’s the fact that Cas broke the wall, and Dean trusted Cas, and and and….
Lucifer: Oh, you guys are having a moment.
Dean turns away and walks out without saying a word to Sam. He’s already said what’s important anyway. He’s going to find someone to help. Somehow. He’s back at the cabin they holed up in before and he’s going through Bobby’s Black Book of Emergency Hunting Contacts, leaving messages, asking for information, for help.
Aside – the number he leaves for a call back? Has a Lawrence, KS, area code. I loved that touch. *grins*
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