But since they were talking about Dean, I’m glad they said that because I think Sam needed to hear it – especially after his ‘gift’ last episode of letting Dean take care of himself. Despite his protestations to the contrary in Season 1, back then Dean probably could have easily adapted to the idea of just watching out for himself. Dad was still alive, monsters were their biggest worry, Sam hadn’t even really started to have his death visions. But now? Seven years, too many deaths, and two different tours in Hell later? No, he isn’t going to handle that easily. He isn’t handling anything easily.
And I think Sam knows that – he just needed to hear it pointed out (in the simplest way possible) by the only other person in the world close to Dean.
Sam: Yeah, but…what if?
Bobby: What if, what? You worry about him, all he does is worry about you, who’s left to live their own life here? (Sam looks away and Bobby sighs heavily.) The two of you. Aren’t you full up just playing Snuffleuppagus with the Devil all the live long?
Sam (reflective): I don’t know. Seeing Lucifer’s fine with me.
Bobby: Come again?
Sam (rubbing his scarred hand): It’s not fun, but…I kinda see it as the best case scenario. At least all my crazy is under one umbrella. I know what I’m dealing with. A lot of people got it worse.
*rubs heart* Aw, Sammy. I like that. I’d been not sure how I felt about him being ‘okay’ when they spent so much energy last year talking about how not okay he’d be if the wall came down, but I like that he’s found his compartment to put it in, and that he’s cognizant that others aren’t so easily able to do that with the stuff that messes them up emotionally – his brother included.
Bobby: You always were one deep little son of a bitch.
Sam grins but then there’s action at Biggerson’s drawing their attention. A truck with “Midwest Meat and Poultry” drives up, delivers several boxes, and heads out. They follow. Elsewhere, outside of N.E. Law Center, a woman is walking to her car and is attached by none other than Mr. SuperFlair himself, Brandon. He beats her head against the ground and leans in to nosh when another car pulls up and some random cowboy dude (who we only see from the belt buckle down) gets out and biffs Brandon.
The boys and Bobby follow the truck to a big warehouse. Dean is awake, still in the back, and drinking coffee. They all agree that a place like Biggerson’s getting its meat from some random warehouse is weird. And then, a Caddy pulls up and Edgar gets out. Sam has a momentary freak out as he remembers the last time they saw Edgar, a Chevy was dropped on him. Turns out Edgar was the random cowboy guy. He gets Brandon out of the trunk – a bag over his head and his flair illuminating the night like lights from a Ferris wheel.
Dean: Son of a bitch.
You can say that again.
Edgar hauls Brandon into the warehouse and we, the audience, follow. Turns out Dr. Handsome from back at the hospital in Bobby’s hometown is there. I gotta be honest with you all – all the stuff with the Leviathans was a little…dull. For me. I don’t really find them scary. I find them interesting – and there were certain moments of omgtheydidnotjustdothat, but by and large, they’re too human to be monstrously scary and too much monster to be a psychotic human so they fall into this middle gray area that I’m a little meh about.
I’m hanging with it, of course – I mean there’s something to be said for the unkillable creature whose only mission in life is to make us fat and complacent so that they can gorge themselves. They seem to have no big agenda beyond living large and lazy. They want to take over the powerful so that they can turn the human race into a smorgasbord. It’s daunting, yes, but it’s one of those things that feels like it could take awhile so…it doesn’t strike this chord of fear in me.
You may now throw things at me if you want. Nothing is going to make me stop watching the plight of our heroes as they continue to push the boulder up the hill and try to save the world once again, narrowly avoiding their own demise in the process. I think, honestly, the Leviathans might be scarier to me if we hadn’t survived angels and demons already. That’s just me and I’ll shut up about it for now.
Edgar puts Brandon in a cage near another woman who’s much further down the zombified chain and tells Dr. Handsome to burn them. Dr. Handsome is all, but they’re research and Edgar tells him “Dick” is coming. Dr. Handsome turns to an orderly-looking guy and is like, burn them.
Back in the A-Team van, Dean’s in the front seat, sipping coffee, and Sam’s doing a recon of the back of the building – giving Bobby time to talk with Dean.
Bobby: How’s your head?
Dean: I think the slammer’s pretty much worn off. Between that and 20 cups of coffee, I’m nice and tense and alarmed.
Bobby: I wasn’t talking about that.
Dean (closing his eyes with a quiet groan): Don’t go all Sigmund Freud on me. I just got drugged by a sandwich.
Bobby: I want to talk about your new party line. The world’s a suicide case. We save it; it just steals more pills.
Dean (jaw tense, looking away): I’m here, okay? I’m on the case. What’s the problem?
Bobby: I’ve seen a lot of hunters live and die. You’re starting to talk like one of the dead ones, Dean.
Dean (looking at him, clipping off each word at the end): No. I’m talking the way a person talks when they’ve had it. When they can’t figure out why they used to think this all mattered.
*rubs heart* He’s giving Bobby what Bobby had asked for back before the Leviathan’s burned his house down. He’s cracking the door open and showing him a tiny glimpse of his wounded self, confessing for the first time since Bobby tried to get him to open up that he’s got nothing left. He’s running on fumes. And he doesn’t want to do it anymore. He can’t bring himself to say and this is why and he doesn’t know how to say this is what I need to fix it. He just knows he’s done.
The sad part is, it’s not the first time. He’s been done a few times before, but the world won’t let him go, and he’s too much of a fighter to cash in his chips and go home.
Bobby: You poor, sorry…. You’re not a person.
Dean (looks front with a stony expression): Thanks.
And this is moment #3 of Gaelic wants an avi. The expression on his face, the lighting in that van, the emotions crashing against him…man. I am ruined. He has ruined me.
Bobby: You tried to be a person with Lisa and Ben and now here you are with a mean old coot and a van full of guns. That ain’t “person” behavior, Son.
I got what he was saying – to Bobby, Dean’s more than a “person.” The way he said the word, Bobby labeled the regulars, the civvies, the people they saved as “person.” He held what Dean was as a level above that – worth more than that. And he was trying to dig inside the fragile, hollowed-out shell of this kid sitting next to him to find the trigger that would ignite Dean’s fight again. He couldn’t do it with the quiet, you sure are deep approach that he’d allowed Sam – one because he’s never treated Dean that way, and two because Sam hasn’t given up, which he sees Dean doing.
Bobby: You’re whatever job you’re doing. You get a case of the Anne Sexton something’s gonna come up behind you and rip your fool head off.
Dean gives him a sidelong glance, filled with both resistance and knowing. He knew this man next to him well enough to recognize “I love you” wrapped up inside a “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” lecture.
Bobby: You find your reasons to get back in the game. I don’t care if it’s love or spite or a $10 bet. I’ve been to enough funerals. I mean it. You die before me and I’ll kill you.
*rubs heart* Man, these guys. I wished so bad in that moment we would have gotten confirmation from Bobby that he’d heard Dean’s similar plea on his own voicemail. I wanted to know that Bobby knew Dean was teetering even back then. But that’s just me needing details. I think Bobby’s admission that he couldn’t live with Dean dead any more than Dean could’ve lived with Sam dead was going to have to be enough. It was also a bit of foreshadowing to the end of the episode.
Dean’s lips tremble a moment, as if he’s mentally running through a myriad of possible responses before he settles on, “We need to scrape some money together and get you a condo or something.”
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