Next day, the boys are back at Good Graces for breakfast, Sam telling him about finding the bones in the bed.
Dean: In the bed. They were in the bed? Ack. (*insert little grin*) I can’t believe he was boning her.
Sam (wincing, little-brother tolerant grin): Dean!
Same waiter from before comes up and asks if they need anything else.
Dean: Just a refill and if you affirmate me, I’m gonna punch you in the face.
Sam looks away with a small I can’t believe you just said that smile. Dean keeps his eyes on the waiter with a I’m totally not kidding expression. Melanie walks in and Sam, bless him, says he’s going to “do something outside.” *pets him*
Mel wanted to thank him, but Dean says there’s no reason. She’s like, well, except for saving my life. Dean solemnly points out that he wasn’t able to save her friend, driving home that for him, despite all of this, it’s still and always about saving people, hunting things. Mel thanks him anyway and says that he and Sam seem better. She also knows that this is goodbye and wishes they’d met on a better week. Dean wishes he had better weeks.
It was a sweet exchange, one where Dean actually got to be the hero and was thanked for it. That so rarely happens to either of them – and out of the two of them, Dean just needs it more. It’s part of who he is. And I’m so glad he got it this time. Saved the girl, and was recognized for it, despite who he wasn’t able to save in the process.
Outside, Sam’s putting his bags in the trunk of the Charger – and there’s just a brief glimpse of the interior, but I could have sworn I saw Cas’ trench coat in there. *sniff*That says so, so much as to what Dean needs with him. And if they cleaned the trash out of that car, they might be able to keep it for awhile. It’s no Impala, but it is an American muscle car from the right decade….
Sam straightens and tells Dean he figures they can take the same car. He looks…subdued, but in a good way. Like he’s found some peace inside of him. Some understanding of Dean’s position and choice. There’s a calmness there that Dean instantly picks up on and responds to.
Dean: Works for me. You still want to break my face?
Sam: Nah. Not at this point.
Dean nods, his face softening with the beginnings of a smile around his eyes. There is something about the lighting in this shot because they both look fantastic, but Dean… good gracious. He kinda shot my breath all to pieces. UNF.
Sam: Y’know what? You were right. About Amy. If she were just any monster, I’m not sure I could have just let her walk away.
Dean (cautious, careful): So, what are you saying?
Sam: I’m saying…I get why you did it. You were just trying to make sure no one else got hurt. But here’s the thing. You can’t just look me in the face and tell me you’re fine. You’re not sleeping. You drink for the record—
Dean (looking away): Here we go.
Sam: Look, whatever. Last one to preach, I know. But. Just be honest with me. How are those the actions of someone who knows they did the right thing?
I had to take a breath here, because there’s so many ways this could have gone. He could have told Sam what Ellen said. He could have opened himself wide in that moment. Or he could go small, go cautious, baby steps.
Dean: You want me to be honest? I went with my gut. And that felt right. I didn’t trust her, Sam. ‘Course…ever since Cas, I’m having a hard time trusting anybody. (*sad*) And as far as how I’ve been acting…I don’t like lying to you. Doesn’t feel right. So, yeah, you’ve got me there. I’ve been climbing walls.
*laugh* You just want to shake both of them. When watching this as a story, I want to say then don’t! Just be honest with each other! But when thinking about it as a situation with life and siblings and how things happen…I get it. I get not being clear, even though you think you are. I get making promises inside statements like, “all those times I left you, I was wrong,” and breaking them the next time things get tough. I get going behind the other’s back to do what you felt had to be done. And I get lying about it, too, because sometimes the consequences of truth are too great to comprehend.
Sam: I know how that is. If I learned one thing from that museum, sibling acts are tough.
Dean moves around Sam with a grimace, saying, “Don’t compare us to that hall of crazy. We are a functional family compared to them.”
Sam says it’s a bit of a low bar and Dean makes a comment about grading on a curve getting him through everything since Kindergarten. It’s one of those light-hearted, let’s get back to it, moments. They didn’t peel away all layers and get to the heart of the matter, but that can all come. The point is, they’re back together. And it was…organic. I mean, they were both still hunting, the odds they’d come across the same hunt at some point in time were pretty great.
The way the anger came to a head and the way it was dissipated was true to form to their lifestyle and way of dealing, I thought. And the ‘make up’ talk was very ‘guy-like.’ Nothing big and overt, no heartfelt promises or angst filled ‘whys.’ Just…this is how it is. This is how I am. And I’m not perfect and I’m not healed. But I am your brother. And that’s enough.
I think we’ll still have more to come from Ellen’s ‘warning.’ There’s more to Dean’s pain than Amy. It was there in his voice at Bobby’s house before there even was an Amy. So, there’s more to come there. And Sam…he might seem as though he’s adjusting to his new normal, but he went a bit to the extreme with this one, and I can’t help but think that was a direct result of the very find line of control he’s walking. So, there’s more to come there.
But for now, they’re on the road, in a ‘borrowed’ car, together. I’m good with it. Next week, though? I echo Dean’s, “What the hell?” Oh, and that Ramble will be on time. *smile* Thanks for reading!
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