Back in ’98, YoungSam goes to leave, but Mommy Dearest is there, ready to nosh. A struggle ensues and the bottom line is, Amy kills her mom to save YoungSam.
Dean is leaning against the bed, listening, arms crossed over his chest. He says he never knew any of this, and Sam says that’s because he never told anyone…making me wonder what happened when he hooked back up with Dean and John back in ’98. Did he tell them he killed the Kitsuni? Anyway, he says it was his mess to clean up.
Dean is skeptical.
Sam: She killed her own mom to save me.
Dean: I hear you, Sam, I do. But…she’s droppin’ bodies, man. Which means we gotta drop her, no matter how many merit badges she racked up when we were kids. It’s that simple.
Sam: Nothing in our lives is simple.
I thought he was going to bring up the kid in that moment — and, as an aside, I really thought the fact that she had a kid would sway Dean…especially after he behaved with Bobby John — but instead, Sam continues to tell Dean about ’98. YoungSam tells Amy to run…Amy asks him to come with her. Sam looks like he wants to for a moment, but…he can’t.
Seriously, I’m hugely impressed by Colin Ford. He must have watch a TON of footage of Jared playing Sam to pull of these facial expressions like he did. *rubs heart*
Dean tries to see things from Sam’s perspective, saying he can totally understand what it’s like to meet a girl and feel that spark, but he calls Amy a freak, which pisses Sam off, understandably so. Dean tries to take it back, but Sam isn’t having it. Says he sees the way Dean looks at him – like he’s a grenade about to go off.
“I’m not going off. I might be a freak, but that’s not the same as dangerous. I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to be normal. I’m not normal. I’m a grade-A freak. But I’m managing it. And so is Amy.”
The look on Dean’s face is clearly yeah, but for how long? Sam broke before when he thought he could manage it. I mean, shoot, even Cas thought he could manage the power he’d inhaled, and look where that got them. Dean’s not ready to accept that those he loves are going to be able to keep it together like they think they are.
I don’t think it’s at all easy to be in the position Sam is, constantly trying to keep it together, constantly aware of those he loves worrying he’s going to crumble. But I also sympathize with Dean’s position that their track record does not speak highly of ‘managing’ things. I mean, look how well Dean is managing his PTSD, post-apocalypse stress. Steady diet of liquor, and some kind of pills (could be antibiotics, sure, but I’m thinking otherwise).
Sam does tell him about Amy’s kid, and then says, “You don’t trust her, fine. Trust me.”
I think my “he’s a hunter” argument would be even stronger if Dean hadn’t known about the kid. Because we’ve seen how he is with and about kids. Even monster kids. *frowns*
Dean looks doubtful, but says ‘okay.’ “Gotta start sometime, right?”
I knew it wasn’t going to go well. You could see this shift in his eyes, a tightness there that said, I am gonna do what I’ve gotta do. I saw that he understood why Sam let Amy go, understood that Sam could do nothing else, understood that he couldn’t ask anything else of Sam in this situation. I saw him accept that just as he accepted the fact that he had a job to do, and Sam didn’t have to be part of it.
He’s a hunter, and his instincts are telling him that she got desperate once when her kid got sick…what’s stopping her from doing it again? Nothing guaranteeing that he’ll stay healthy. Her ‘management plan’ wasn’t foolproof. His instincts are telling him that she’s a monster who kills people and he’s a person who kills monsters. End of story.
But it was complicated by Sam’s history and choice for dealing with the situation, and Dean now “undermining” that decision by taking care of it a different way. Which, it just occurred to me, is exactly WHY Sam didn’t tell his brother anything, snuck out, scared the crap out of him — because he knew what should be done, but didn’t want to do it. He didn’t want to do it from the jump.
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