Sam brings food back, notices Bobby’s gone.
Dean (still trapped on couch): How you doing?
Dean: I mean, are you still…y’know?
Sam: I’m still seeing crap that’s not real, but I can tell the difference.
He doesn’t know if he’s getting better. He’s just managing it. So, don’t worry.
Yeah. Right. ‘Cause spontaneously not worrying about Sam sounds exactly like something Dean would do. Pfft.
Dean pulls out mini-cake from his bag o’grub and is like, dude? pie? Sam’s all…you got cake. Dean’s incensed expression is pretty much like, “Cake is NOT pie. The. End.”
Gotta say, I agree with him.
Later…there are empty beer bottles, empty prescription bottle, and Dean is sacked out on couch (yum). Sam is carefully watching him while he gets paper out and reads under the pic that there’s a “signature” of the Ice Pick killer.
We get our first flashback to YoungSam (Colin Ford) – finding out about a bunch of murders by something called a Kitsuni (sp?). He’s on the phone with Dean and is apparently getting flack that it has to be killed (I missed why YoungSam was reluctant to kill it…except for the fact that Sam’s always had the soft heart of the family). Dean puts John on phone and apparently John echoes that sentiment, so YoungSam goes to Library to find out how to kill it.
Back in the now, Sam snakes the Impala’s keys and sneaks out while Dean’s asleep in front of some murder mystery show. *has Very Bad Feeling About This*
Elsewhere in an empty skate park under a bridge, there’s a drug deal going down. Police come, buyer runs off, seller…not so lucky. Jumped and dead. Hmm.
It’s morning. Dean wakes up on couch disoriented (and probably has a wicked crick in his neck), turns off TV and finds a note from Sam: Back in a few days. I’m fine. Sam
Gotta be honest, my knee-jerk reaction to seeing that note was being a bit irked at Sam.
So, I tried to see this through Sam’s eyes (which is easier in retrospect). He’s coming to terms with the fact that this deal with his hallucinations isn’t a spell they can counteract — this is his new reality now. And he’s managing, and still needs to be viable and needed. Plus, he technically knows what he’s doing. He’s done this his whole life, right? So he needs his brother to go back to treating him like an equal and partner, not like the walking wounded. Because he can’t get better if someone is always expecting him to break. Not only that, but we know that this particular case has special meaning for him. After thinking through that, I could kinda understand Sam’s reasons for sneaking out.
But it was easier for me to see it through Dean’s eyes. His brother, who just three weeks prior had waved a gun in his face because he didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t, and who checks out on a semi-regular basis, has just taken off, no indication of why or where he was going. Not only that? He took the car! Left Dean totally helpless and alone in the cabin. Whether or not Bobby could have come back is irrelevant to me. Dean is living in fear for his brother, unable to fix him, is laid up, and whether anyone but Bobby is willing to recognize it, is also clinging to control by sheer iron will. Sam may be making Dean “Stone #1” and building on it, but Dean’s own walls are crumbling.
So, Sam leaving with no more than an “I’m fine” just didn’t sit well with me.
[ETA: I need to add a caveat here that will, I think, be needed for later in the ramble, too. As a very ‘pro-Dean’ fan, when I get irked at Sam, I find myself working extra hard to see things from Sam’s perspective so that I don’t end up coming down too hard on him. The end result, to some, may seem that I’m not giving Dean enough leeway. It’s kind of a no-win situation. Just know that for the sake of all reading, I’m working to strike a balance between honest reaction and (what I deem to be) fair assessment…and I may miss the mark with some of you sometimes.]
Dean gets on the phone to Bobby: Other. Shoe.
Bobby says maybe he needs some alone time. Bobby’s like the polar opposite of Dean when it comes to Sam. It offers a balance — and is what Dean needs to hear to not spiral out of control — but sometimes, I wish they’d both worry at the same time. *laugh*
Dean points out that his alone time isn’t necessary alone. Sam could be out there with Lucifer riding shotgun.
Dean: Left me here like Jimmy Friggin’ Stewart.
He’d called Sam; it went to VM.
Dean: HE TOOK MY CAR.
Bobby says to give it a couple of days, until Dean gets the cast off. Dean’s like, hell with that. He hangs up, gets out a mini buzz saw, stares at his cast – you’re going down – and cuts the damn thing off. Loved the look on his face, and the tiny thbt thbt as the plaster dust rose up.
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